Offline Life: Veronika Almazova
lives in Israel
works as a gynecologist.
WHIMS OF LIFE
You know, I am such a person, everyone gives birth to me. So far, only a variety of women, but if this goes on, then soon, most likely, men will also give birth. I have.
Mom says that because that I am a specialist and just a good person. And I think that this is karma ... How to explain, for example, that in addition to the women giving me the position of giving birth, rats come to give me birth. And after hours and right home. One came, I refused her loudly with a mop, she was offended. Cats come through the window. One came, I thought, my hallucinations started, she went so impressively - I immediately determined mechanically: 38 weeks, oligohydramnios, multiple pregnancy, head presentation, anatomically narrow pelvis, long neck, pharynx closed, and walks around the house like a woman in labor clinic, examined, settles in. And here we’ll have a prenatal, here’s a chair, and then we’ll put a crib, a cupboard and a closet, do not forget to wash the floors! Hamsters give birth, again. A month ago, the eldest daughter dragged two hamsters in a cage into the house. Such a cell, I myself would live in it, there is food, water, educational games, an exercise bike. There is even a bedroom. The maze, again, is a cure for boredom. There, in the maze, animals and made a nest of sawdust. I immediately said - to be in trouble. A nest is for a happy married life of up to 120 and a quick birth, any gynecologist will tell you. And my family was outraged. They are, they say, still small. And you, they say, is a terribly depraved woman. And I said out loud that size is not important. And she said out loud that the pregnancy in hamsters lasts only two weeks. And to herself, she thought doomedly that at one time she completely scored on the anatomy of rodents ... She spouse released only two times a day for water.
Once he, under the pretext of drinking water, secretly ran fast on the simulator, he had a real sporting character, I respected him. Yes, and now I have come, and we have three newborns. In the nest of debauchery is straight, in the maze.
And two weeks ago, the hamster-husband fled. Straight from home. Well, you know how that happens. She told him: “Darling, gloves were taken away in my cafe today, my mother moves to us, and we will have a small one. Ten. Two to five. Are you glad And he said to her: “Of course I’m glad, I’ll come right now, I’ll throw out the garbage. And left. Absolutely. He wandered about four days and would not have returned, but our dog almost ate him. Literally at the last moment they pulled out of the mouth. Returned to the family by force. Now father, what is there.
PHOTO: ANASTASIA TIKHONOVA, FOTOBANK / GETTY